| weirdness and secrets |
[Dec. 7th, 2005|06:57 pm] |
Came home to find the house full of weirdness and secrets. That’s okay. My day was already full of weirdness and secrets.
Out of respect for Harry, I’m not going to do that reservoir walk again. But I’m visiting them again, each, but out of order so that it won’t be like doing the reservoir walk in slow motion. Monkey seems to approve. In general, he gets more agitated as time goes on. He wants action. And so do I.
I got itchy scars and itchy fingers. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 6th, 2005|06:56 pm] |
The suits in this town have all lost their minds. Two of them approached me today with obscure threats/offers. Apparently I can have anything I’ve ever wanted if Bella does or doesn’t do something they will not name.
When I figure out what they want you to do, Bella, I’ll tell you not to do it. |
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| Lame threats |
[Dec. 5th, 2005|06:54 pm] |
Weird thing at Moneybags Park. Suit comes up to me and says, “You tell that girl she’s listening to the wrong people.”
I said “say what?” and he repeated it, bland face, no overtly threatening expression, but his body looked like he was about to pick me up and slam me into the cement. I know that posture.
I said “which girl?” and he only slightly scowled, then made a nasty smiley face and loomed a little in my face and then walked away.
It would not have taken much more for me to pick him up and slam him into the cement.
So, Bella, I figure the message is for you: some suit thinks you’re listening to the wrong people. Unless it’s for your weird girlfriend. But yesterday you were both listening to the same people, and if it’s about anything, it’s about that.
Unless the suit’s just crazy. That could happen too. Ask me, they’re all witless.
Stupid jerkoff Knob people. |
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| boredom vies with weirdness |
[Dec. 1st, 2005|06:52 pm] |
I'm bored as fuck and Mikey's got his computer with him, so I guess I'm stealing some time off a node or something. I've been making the weirdest deliveries all day. Unwieldy objects to and from the Knob. And to and from the weirdest places. When I get home I'm going to check on Monkey's map: but I think they're all behind the reservoirs with respect to the Knob. I hope that's just paranoia. Because if it's not, then it's one more damned thing I have to pay attention to and I don't know what it means. I am not insane and I do not look for these things. |
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| Do they listen to me? They do not. |
[Nov. 28th, 2005|06:49 pm] |
I had misgivings about a road trip with Mikey, but it turned out okay. We had the usual flat tire and close call with some hootneck in a Land Rover who wanted to murder us in the ditch. We went to San Juan because Mikey wanted to see the bell tower from Vertigo and he wouldn't listen to me when I told him it wasn't there. Hitchcock made it up. But that was okay too because Mikey touched a prickly pear and then somehow got the prickles in his tongue and getting them out was hilarious. Too much beer, of course, and ended up sleeping in the bushes because Mikey couldn't remember where our reservations were.
Got back to find that nothing too bad had happened in my absence. Nothing happened at all, really. |
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| Crazy artists and their crazy food |
[Nov. 23rd, 2005|06:48 pm] |
So tomorrow's Thanksgiving and Bella's gone insane. We're not eating at our house, and Hugo specifically told her not to bring something, and she's been cooking since last night. She had the day off, which was awkward, but she's going to the store for the Wednesday Wanderings as usual which means I will have the usual crowd here and what am I going to do to keep them from eating Bella's fancy food?
The food is all representational and symbolic or arranged in complexly symmetrical constructions. Fucking crazy artists. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 22nd, 2005|06:47 pm] |
Stupid jerkoff Knob. |
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| Monkey takes a walk |
[Nov. 21st, 2005|06:46 pm] |
Monkey let himself out this morning before I got up -- that is, at 0-dark-00 by the internal clock -- and was letting himself in when I was getting my coffee. I did not see him do it: the door was latched and locked when I went to bed and latched and locked when I got up. He had a prize for me. Where he got it I do not know, but it was a map of the water system of the City. It was one of those laminated fold-up maps like the Muni maps you can find. On one side it was a map of the City with the reservoir and mains all drawn out and marked with symbols (but no legend. What are they thinking, a map with no legend? Not even a scale). On the other side was a map that showed where the water actually comes from originally -- I knew most of it came from the Sierras but some of the other places are surprising.
I've come to think that we can use anything that comes to us, but this is just downright puzzling. Everything about it -- what does Monkey think about it? He's a dog. |
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| telling Bella about a fella |
[Nov. 15th, 2005|12:20 pm] |
I met an interesting woman today. I took a break for a couple hours because the morning had been hopping hopping and I was just burnt. I went over to Moneybags Park and there she was, with a big old plastic-mesh bag like the Filipino ladies use to buy their groceries, and she was picking stuff off the ornamental shrubbery. We got to talking and she said her name was Forager Girl -- which of course I do not believe -- and this was how she got about a third of her food. I asked her wasn't she worried about chemicals and she said she had researched the matter and had strategies to deal with it and anyway she couldn't afford organic so she was getting the same stuff from the grocery store. I know there's different rules for edible and not edible plants when you apply that stuff but I let it be. She told me what all she was gathering at the park and how she was going to use it and she invited me to dinner. I told her I would ask my Bella if she wanted to go and she got really interested when I told her about you.
Honestly, I think she's a lesbian.
I've been developing a very strong sense of what is and is not dangerous -- you may call it paranoia, but I am sure it will come in handy. And Forager Girl is not dangerous, and Button-Down Guy is. And I agree with Monkey: you can trust Harry, but you can't trust all of his boxes. |
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| Chain joins the tinfoil hat brigade |
[Nov. 10th, 2005|12:23 pm] |
I don't want to alarm anybody but I think I got the point of the two-egg breakfast coupon scheme. I hear crap when I go in the offices with the drop, right? Mostly it's just dumb penguin crap but every so often I hear crap that has some relevance in the world of the real. They don't know what they're saying even when they think they do, naturally. They know what their nasty little plans are but they don't know what they reveal.
This was in the Knob building. I call it the Knob building because it's pretty well phallic. There's a whole raft of dweebs in that building. I hate getting sent there. The order's never right and never profitable. But into every life some Knob building must fall so I don't moan about it unless I get slipped more than my share of drops over there.
So I went and I knew the package was going to be oversized but it was a fucking harpoon and it wasn't where it was supposed to be, naturally, it was the Knob and so I knew I was going to waste a half hour easy finding the pickup. It didn't actually take that long because I know the Knob and I'm a genius anyway (modest, too). So I got into some inane argument with the cockateel they keep at the desk there and while this was going on I heard a couple of assholes arguing about, you guessed it, the two-egg breakfast coupons. I already knew from listening in on another conversation that I will not go into that the purple numbers were being used for tracking traffic of different kinds but this time one of the guys let slip the thing they're really tracking and it is not pretty. I'm not going into details at this time because I do not want to be typed as a member of the tinfoil hat brigade. |
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| That's what happened to the lasagne |
[Nov. 4th, 2005|11:03 am] |
Note to self: be much more careful destroying dangerous artifacts. Got kind of caught shredding the breakfast coupon and had to take some heat for littering.
Note to Bella: sigh. Not skanks. You just don't cut it as the jealous type, bellabellabellawheel. You're not fierce enough or focussed enough, and when it comes down to it, you trust me. You were, however, right the first time. Only it wasn't ajillion. Just four, besides myself, and, I'm sorry to say, a spliff the size of a Havana cheroot. Of course one of them was Mikey. I have to reward him for all the computer time. He made the icon, too, or whatever you call it. Avatar?
I think taking Monkey with you when you go out at night is a very good idea. I mean, every murderous thug with a butterfly knife and a gat and an eye for artsy girls is terrified of short-legged dogs, right? Isn't that so? And Monkey is the bravest dog you've ever met. Isn't that so?
Seriously, take Monkey when you have to be out late. At the very least he'll pee on the enemy's shoes. |
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| Hey didle diddle DON'T Use That Coupon!!!! |
[Nov. 2nd, 2005|11:46 am] |
You tell me so much, and I have not told you anything. And I won't tell you much.
Okay. Union meeting. Drunken, but the only brawling I hate to admit was me calling out a couple of the shitfaced assholes who brought the damned semikeg. I mean how the hell do these jerkwads expect to organize a fucking union if they're partying instead of plotting?
I don't even know why I fucking care.
I heard you about that nonexclusivity clause but get real, babycakes: I don't have time to diddle you, how am I going to have time for skanks?
You neglected to ask about the poetry slam but I'll tell you anyway: the guy you saw on the street today sounds like one of the contestants. He was not so bad. But he was alarming. He was handing out these little papers with beautifully-drawn mandalas on them. Each one was a little different from the others. His poetry was all about connectedness and sunrise. Not bad, just a little sentimental, but he got higher scores than I would have given him.
About that coupon -- no, we can't use it. Throw it away. Better yet, take it to the park with Monkey, and shred it into little bits and scatter the bits. Or better yet, let me do it. |
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| Little boxes in the basement |
[Nov. 1st, 2005|10:03 am] |
Bella, I keep telling you it's not skanks. But no, I won't tell you what it is. It would make your head implode.
Last night, though, I went to the poetry slam. It was dreadful, and I knew it would be, which is why I let you handle the trick or treatersw. I had to be there. A friend of mine was competing. He was pretty good. Actually, the whole thing was pretty good, in a dreadful sort of way. Tonight we're supposedly having a union meeting though I swear if it turns into another drunken brawl I'm going to break a few heads.
I did figure out what's been bugging Monkey. Or almost. Anyway, it's something in Harry's boxes. He likes Harry. Harry's just so-so about him, calls him a hellhound, though I think Monkey is probably pretty much the opposite of a hellhound really. But Monkey hates Harry's boxes with a passion. Hackles, teeth, growl, the whole business, and he won't let me get to that side of the apartment.
Oh, and Bella, look closely at the two egg breakfast coupon. Does it have a purple serial number on it? If it does, throw it away. If the serial number is blue or read, we can use it. |
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| Downstairs |
[Oct. 30th, 2005|09:46 am] |
I checked out the new neighbor this aft.
Not to worry, Bella: he's just your everyday harmless old junkie with mysterious powers of intellect and a lot of boxes. He talked me out of fifty dollars for shipping something to the Smithsonian. It seemed reasonable at the time.
Took Monkey to the park. Monkey met a Labrador named Mallard.
The whole city is insane. |
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| Monkey in the Morning |
[Oct. 29th, 2005|06:02 am] |
Monkey was all weird this morning. I didn't have time to check, but I think we have a rat. Or something, in the area by the stove. Under the floor?
Wake me up when you get home, bellabellabella wheel. |
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| So, did I do this right? |
[Oct. 27th, 2005|10:20 am] |
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I'm here on Mikey's computer. We're supposed to be taking a lunch break. I figured if I didn't do this right away, you'd bitch me out tonight whenever you dragged yourself up the stairs from the store. You do know I'm just kidding, right, Bella? |
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